iT's haRd, rEaLLy...

(if only i can do this...or not)

being a repeater is not an easy thing...tell you what, having such a lot of time means you need to hide in a nice place and study! and really need to hide...once i thought of announcing to the world about my status, and let them put theirselves in my shoes...and i hate it when the nearest person to you forgot that u are repeating! huhu, feel like crying...

it is not m3 who wants this to happen, i know there are too many good things come from this fate...but u guys around there should think and understand my feeling, okay maybe i am the one who should understand them...they will never be in my shoes, right? and i'm tired of hiding...

today i am supposed to be washing cars with the other fellows kkaa's, but i am in ma room right now updating this blog...am not regretting, really...i'm thankful, alhamdulillah...cause i can concentrate more on my study, just sometimes it come to my mind and i need to think about it...

huhu, enough is enough...btw, a bunch of thanks and gratitude to my closest friends to be such understanding of my situation...not talking about this repeat thing in front others and so open to share the new knowledge, thanks ALLAH for giving m3 the chance to know and love and be loved by them...=) may they are always be showered by YOUR everlasting loVE, ameen...

being in this kind of situation makes m3 appreciate life and friendship better, see...told you there are so much good things behind this, and i will give everything i have to make the world a better place...be patient is the key and thinks that not everybody understands you will make you feel better

(H.O.P.E.)

why i am not open about this thing? it's actually occurs naturally, without any force...deep inside there i really hope that everybody know the truth and understands m3, it will be a lot easier...seeing kak syud is the best example, she is very open yet defensive at the same time...maybe it is her very own way to cure herself by time, hope i can be as strong as her...insyaALLAH